Janet-ism #4: Be Kind. Don't be an Asshole.

Kindness goes a long way, even decades later you can see the effects.

It’s obvious, and we all grow up hearing it: “treat others the way you want to be treated,” essentially, “be kind”. But I didn’t realize how much of an impact being kind to someone could really have until I started working as an Executive Assistant, where I noticed it more and more in the experiences I had with the people I worked with.

Kindness gets you places. Even years later. This was one of the constant things I told the admins I worked closest with.

The backchannel that helped you get your next job could have happened because someone noticed your hard work and kind personality from 3 years ago. The woman you were kind to in your pilates class, even though she hit your car, could end up being the mom of one of your kid’s classmates. The person on your team you helped when you didn’t have to will want to return the favor 5 years down the road. All of these examples (and I have hundreds more) are actually things that have really happened to me.

But what is “kindness”? Is it just being nice to people? No. It’s treating them like human beings. It’s remembering their names, saying hello, having empathy for them, celebrating with them, being patient with them, saying sorry when you screwed up, being grateful and saying thanks, helping them when they come to you, and scratching their back when they scratch yours.

Here’s the thing about being an Executive Assistant. It encompasses way more than simply being the assistant to an executive and helping make their days go smoothly or taking things off their plate or having them prepared for meetings. A huge chunk of our work relies on the relationships and resources that we have, and at the core of your foundation as an EA has to be the kindness… why? because you can’t build the relationships if you’re a dick. I said what I said.

On top of all that, the more senior level of an EA you become, the kinder you should be. At that level, people look to you for guidance. They look to you for help. You are a reflection of the CEO or C-level executive whom you support, and you should represent them well and positively.

I think what some people fail to realize is that how they act now, how they make people feel now, what they say now, things they do now, all have an effect on people later.

Of course we are all human and we can’t always be kind. We lose our shit and we get angry and we say mean things. I certainly have been there. But generally speaking, I don’t think it’s that hard to make an effort to be kind or to remedy an unkind act.

Your kindness could go a long way in both your work life and personal life. We reap the benefits of it even over a decade(s) later. I have seen it prove to be true in other people and I have also experienced it first hand.

Morale of the story? Be kind. Don’t be an asshole.