I Got Rejected From All My Interviews

But in retrospect, it was a blessing in disguise

Before I got my Executive Assistant job at Dropbox back in 2011, I had gone through 20-25 interviews and had gotten rejected left and right. I don’t remember the exact number. I just remember feeling extremely defeated. And I remember thinking “what’s wrong with me?”

Up until that point, I had never “failed” an interview. And I had pretty much gotten every job I interviewed for - granted they were clerical jobs or working at a cafe or restaurant, nothing corporate. So when I had to go through interview after interview in San Francisco’s tech world, it really humbled me.

In retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t get the job at any of those places, and I’m glad I “failed” the interviews because maybe I wouldn’t be where I am today if it panned out otherwise.

Here’s what I learned from those interviews back in 2011, as well as all the hundreds of interviews I did after that where I was either the one being interviewed or the one interviewing:

Thank You Emails

• Now having been on the receiving end of “thank you” emails post-interview, I wouldn’t say these are necessary, nor make or break. Like no interviewer is sitting in front of their inbox waiting to see if you’ll send a “thank you” email, and then are like “yasss, let’s pass them on to the next round” once you send one. HOWEVER, if you do decide to write a “thank you” email to the people who interviewed you, make sure you match their tone, company culture, and vibe.

  • I wrote a “thank you” email to my interviewers at a private equity firm, but I wrote it from my phone as soon as I got in the car. I wrote it in a very casual tone (I thought I was connecting with them this way), and this private equity firm was a suit and tie and heels type of place. I got docked (said the recruiter I was working with) for being too casual and not understanding that this firm was a professional place. As you can tell by the way I write, I probably wouldn’t have fit in here anyway lol.

  • On the flip side, after having received that feedback, I wrote a more professional “thank you” email to a group of interviewers at a startup, and the feedback I got was that I was too buttoned up and not a culture fit. HA!

Think Before You Answer

• Answering interview questions is hard and nerve racking. You can study for them, google possible questions, prepare as much as you can, but sometimes, you’re going to get questions out of the blue that you’re not prepared for. Think before you answer.

  • I interviewed at Pocket Gems (and got rejected). Went through a round of interviews with 7 people, I think? I thought I had done generally well. My last interview was with the CFO. And he asked me “how would you get to know the three executives you would be supporting (CEO, co-founder, and him) within the first month you are here?” And guess what I said without thinking… not once, but twice? I said “I would be like a pimple on your face and just be right by your side understanding your preferences and observing how you work.” Needless to say, he was unamused. Can you tell, that 13 years later, it still haunts me to this day? Like who says that?

Understand What Rejection Is

• Sometimes, the reasons you get rejected in an interview are out of your control. Sometimes, you say stupid shit about being a pimple on someone’s face, and get rejected (though I’m sure there were other reasons lol). But pimple shmimple aside, you have to understand that it’s not always about you, and you have to move on. Don’t dwell. You’ll almost never receive genuine feedback, even if you ask. So there’s no point in wondering why.

  • When I was getting rejected left and right by all these companies, I genuinely thought I was the problem. I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t answer the questions well enough, I wasn’t peppy enough, I wasn’t eloquent enough, I didn’t smile enough, I was too casual, I was too professional, I wore the wrong clothes.

  • But now having interviewed hundreds of EAs, I am realizing that most of the time, it’s not even about you… or I mean, I guess it IS about you, but like it’s about things that aren’t in your control, like how many years of experience you have, what projects you worked on, who you’ve supported in the past, whether you’d be a good personality fit for the exec you’d be supporting.

It’s a Numbers Game

• Rejection is part of the interview game. And it’s ok to get rejected. Sometimes, it might even be for the better. I got rejected from interviewing to be Elizabeth Holmes’ EA at Theranos - can you imagine??? What a blessing in disguise ha. If you think of it as a game, it won’t be so disheartening. Or if you accept that there’s a bigger reason for the rejection that you don’t see at this time, but might later, then it’s less sad.

• Think of every rejection as an exploration of new roles, industries, cultures, companies. I never knew about startups. I was just looking for an EA role, and I interviewed at many different types of companies, firms, industries. Eventually, I was able to figure out where my personality could potentially fit in, what types of people I wanted to work with, and what kind of place I could thrive in because I interviewed at so many places. I sure as hell am not a heels wearing, hair done, makeup perfect everyday type of gal.

• The more interviews you do, the better you get at it, and when the right role appears for you, you’ll be ready for it, which leads me to the next point.

Think of Interviewing as Practice

• Someone once told me that even if I’m not actively looking, I should always be interviewing to keep up with the times. By practicing interviewing, I’ll know what types of questions generally get asked, I’ll know how to answer the same questions over and over again, I can perfect my story and my experiences, I can make mistakes in how I answer questions and learn from them, I can understand human behavior, I can pick up on tone of voice and see what things I say pique the interviewer’s interest, etc.

• Like with all things in life, the more you do it, the better you get at it.

It’s a Small World

• Everyone is connected some how. There have been so many instances where I’ve interviewed candidates, they did fairly well, then I did backchannel referencing on them with people we were both connected to on social media, and the references came back negative, so I passed on them.

• Same happened on the flip side, when people reached out to me asking about people I’ve worked with in the past. I’ve been honest in all my backchannel references, and if I didn’t think you were great to work with based on our work together, then I said so.

• I write about all of this a lot, but in general, just be a good person, be hard working, learn how to build relationships, get shit done, be adaptable, build a good reputation. You never know when someone will be a backchannel reference for you.